Thorpe Park, Cleethorpes
  
I was quite dubious about stopping on a Haven site, ever since the crabs I caught at the Blue Dolphin, Filey, however, I was pleasantly surprised with Thorpe Park at Cleethorpes. Not that I needed much help pushing the caravan onto it's "Euro pitch" with it's own block paving, water, light, waste and electricity supply but our first guest Prince Philip insisted on shoving on the grab handles. He was pitched opposite in his new acquisition, a 6 berth 1991 ABI Jubilee Viceroy. He'd just bought it out of the "Yellow Ad's" from a fellow in Doncaster, and was taking it for it's first outing. "It was the Pullman bunks in the front of the van that sold it to me," he told me. "Perfect for when me and Lizzie take away the grandkids." Thorpe Park had special memories for Philip, as it was where he and his new bride Elizabeth had honeymooned. "Mind you, things have changed a great deal," he told me, "we were in a static, and there were no showers in those days. But my wife and I got through two weeks with a bucket of warm water and a flannel for our strip washes." Unfortunately, Lizzie was unable to join him this weekend as she was at a hen night at Whitley Bay, though Philip assured me she's soon be visiting when she heard about the major refurbishments completed this year on site, and the increased cash prizes for Bingo in the Show Bar".
 
Another regular visitor to Thorpe Park was news anchor man, Trevor McDonald. "The great thing about this site," he told me, "is once your here, you can forget the car. This sites got everything, all in walking distance, so you don't have to drive anywhere, perfect if you like a few bevies." Every morning you could find Trevor on the beach, just a stones throw from his Compass Corona 505, digging holes, or maybe flying his kite, a four pack of Tennant's Super Strength chilling in his cool bag. Occasionally, he'd leave the beach to visit the sites supermarket. "Booze is dead cheap in the shop," he told me, "normally these place really rip you off, but not here." He was carrying a twelve pack of Strongbow, on offer at only a fiver! In the afternoon Trevor moved onto to the sites entertainment complex, and I was amazed at his agility on the trampolines. He showed me his four pint jugs, purchased from the bar. "These are a real saving, works out cheaper than pub prices," he told me, "mind you, you got to drink 'em quick otherwise they get warm." Trevor was quite a mover, and put some of the younger kids to shame when dancing to Crazy Frog in the Family Bar, however, the children had to be shielded away later when Trevor dropped his trousers, grabbed the mike, and shouted "Kiss my a**e, it's a peach!"

Our next guests were none other than Sooty and Sweep. They had spent the last two weeks staying on Thorpe Park, but they were not here on holiday. They were involved in the remake of the Hollywood classic "Gone With the Wind", filmed entirely in the locations of Cleethorpes and Grimsby. Sooty was playing the lead role of romantic cad, Rett Butler, alongside Helen Worth (a.k.a. Coronation Street's Gail Platt) who was playing Scarlet O'Hara. Today was their day off and they planned to spend it in the swimming pool and frolicking in the inside water splash area. They popped over to have a look at my brothers four berth Swift Baronette, as they were looking for a new tourer that would sleep both themselves, Sue and Matthew Corbett comfortably.